Hilarious Jokes to Lighten Your Mood

Laughter is undoubtedly good for your health. Sometimes, however, it is hard to break a smile. Monday mornings at work come to mind. Well, here are some quotes that can tackle even the Monday morning blues.

1. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

2. George Bush - I'm not the expert on how the Iraqi people think, because I live in America, where it's nice and safe and secure.

3. Steven Wright - I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

4. W.C. Fields - was a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.

5. Dave Attell - Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people the cops. But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

6. Steven Wright - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

7. Rodney Dangerfield - A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

8. George Bush - The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.

9. Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

10. Steven Wright - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Steven Wright - Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. Dave Attell - You ever get drunk and pass out... or as I call it 'time travel'?

13. Dave Attell - Man, you've gone from social drinker to alcoholic really quickly.

14. Dave Attell - Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

15. Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Life can be serious, but don’t put too much stock in the pressures of the moment. Tomorrow is a new day and somewhere, somehow, someone will say something hilarious.

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